Sorry..

Dearest..
Sorry for the stupid things I've said. I dont mean them the bad way they sound.
Time is running out fast for me, truthfully I can hardly breathe when it comes to studies. I trying my best to not let that stress and unhappiness get to me. Because you dont deserve to get the bad side of me just cause I'm stressed about As. And I want to give you joy, make you smile, to show you love, that's why I did what I did.
But right now, seeing you like that is breaking down my defenses.. I want to be strong and not give up for As.. But seeing you like this worries me, makes me feel helpless.. I feel like at I'm stuck btwn 2 choices and I dont want to make a choice to concentrate on 1 problem.. If I could I would be with you whenever you're free. But I cant, due to reasons you know..
I'm not that strong, but seeing you happy and smiling, gives me strength..
I just wish you'll cheer up soon. I love you.